I spent nearly 25 years in an industry, surrounded by incredibly smart people. I worked hard, delivered results, and climbed the ranks. But when it became clear to me I needed a change, and I was deciding whether to leave my company, interview with other firms, or explore a new industry entirely, I looked around and realized I had no one to call.
Because I had built the wrong kind of network.
Here are the biggest networking mistakes I made, what I’ve learned from them, and what I do differently now.
1. I Focused Only on Internal Networking
For years, I built strong relationships within my company, but almost none outside of it. I knew the org chart, the politics, and the people. I had trust and visibility at all levels of the organization.
But outside of my company, I had a few friends at other firms (like 4 or 5 people) and some decent relationships with outside vendors.
That was not enough.
I didn’t belong to any industry organizations and had only kept in touch with a few former coworkers. I lacked an external reputation — mostly because it didn’t exist — and realized people wouldn’t think of me unless I reached out first.
So, when I was ready to transition, I had to start from scratch. That’s a lonely and exhausting place to be, especially after decades in the same industry.
What I do now:
I intentionally nurture external relationships with peers in my field, investors, operators, founders, and other connectors by attending in-person events, reaching out in LinkedIn DMs, and passing along simple ‘I saw this and thought of you’ messages. I’ve joined communities focused on my personal goals and interests. I team up with other industry leaders to host events to share networks. I look for quality and consistency, not just familiarity.
As a result, I now have a strong group of experts, champions, and supporters I can rely on when needed.
2. I Took Every Call
When I first started networking externally, I said yes to every coffee, call, and connection. I was flattered that people said yes and felt like I should be open, because who knows what could come from it?
But too many of those calls were one-sided, with people asking for favors, selling me services, or wanting free advice.
I realized that setting boundaries preserves energy for impactful moments. This protects my time, my network, and my energy for when real opportunities arise.
What I do now:
I vet the person AND the ask. I want to know the agenda upfront and ensure it will be a good use of my time.
This has been one of the hardest things for me to implement because I genuinely want to help everyone, but I don’t physically have the hours in the day.
Usually, I begin with, “How do you think I can help?” to ensure the request is thoughtful and direct. Another line I use: 'I’m focused on current clients and speaking projects, so I can't dedicate time beyond these commitments right now. Let's stay connected on LinkedIn for future opportunities.'
I used to worry that saying no makes me appear unhelpful, but I now realize it solidifies mutual respect.
I created Digital Twins (AI representations of my expertise, in my voice) to handle 'pick my brain' calls by uploading all my writing, podcast interviews, websites, frameworks, and courses from over the last 5+ years, so they can talk and share just as I would. The Twins are essentially virtual duplicates of me that can answer common questions, provide insights, and offer actionable feedback as if I were present. I also joined Hubble as an expert to provide strategic, one-off advice. For vague 'discovery chats,' I share my 1-pager, ask them to share theirs, and keep them on file.
If there’s no clear mutual benefit, I say no. My calendar and mental capacity thank me.
3. I Didn’t Have a Clear Ask (Or Offer)
Early on, my goal was to “just learn” from others. That’s a fine starting point, but it’s not a networking strategy.
When people asked how they could help me, I didn’t know what to say. And I wasn’t offering anything specific in return.
What I do now:
I show up with clarity.
If I want advice, introductions, or perspective, I say it. I approach each meeting or event with a clear goal and intention. For example: 'I’m exploring [topic] and seeking [type of introduction or assistance].' This clarity helps others support me better.
And I give just as intentionally: a thoughtful book recommendation (one I often recommend is The Whisper Way by Carrie Kerpen), a curated connection to a fractional CFO, lawyer, or investor, a useful tool, or even a small gift from a local business, as a thank-you.
Something personal is something they’ll remember.
4. I Didn’t Protect My Time
This one took me a while to learn. And I’d schedule full one-hour Zooms and feel obligated to fill the time - rookie mistake.
Time is your most valuable resource, and if you’re not intentional about how you spend it — especially in networking — it gets taken from you.
What I do now:
I keep intro calls to 20–30 minutes, max. I make sure in-person coffee chats are convenient for me. I curate event invites to bring large groups together. After meetings, I always send a quick thank-you message, highlighting key points and follow-ups from our conversation. I also add notes in my Goodword (the networking copilot app) contacts so I know where I met them or last saw them, as well as anything relevant we discussed that I want to remember. Goodword will resurface reminders to check in with people, whether by sharing relevant articles or simply asking how they're doing, which is extremely helpful. This routine helps keep the connection alive and meaningful.
The One Thing I Always Did Right: I Listened First — And That’s Still My Superpower
One thing I did right from the beginning: I’ve always led with listening.
I always want the other person to tell me about themselves first, because I can almost always find a point of common interest or a way to provide value. I am, by nature, a problem solver, so being able to show the other person that I've listened, empathized, and been helpful creates a level of respect from the start. This approach isn't just about building rapport; it's a strategic asset.
For example, listening closely has led to investors backing founders, getting people jobs, and forming very successful partnerships.
Demonstrating active listening builds trust and opens doors.
When someone shares what they’re working on or struggling with, I immediately connect the dots:
- “You should meet X — they’re doing something similar.”
- “Did you see the news on...?”
- “This tool could help.”
It’s how I build trust. It’s how I give first.
And it’s how I want people to remember me: someone who gives rather than takes.
Final Thoughts
Networking isn’t about volume.
It’s not about collecting business cards or racking up Zoom calls.
It’s about building relationships that are:
- Intentional
- Mutually valuable
- Sustainable over time
By giving first, you build a reliable network before you need it—so you won’t find yourself starting from zero, as I once did. Proactive, intentional networking pays off in the long run.
Whether you’re thinking about your next move, raising capital, shifting industries, or just curious about what’s next, my challenge is to reach out to someone you’re thinking about and tell them so!
Your future self will thank you for the effort you put in today.
About Katie Dunn
Katie Dunn is an angel investor, board director, and startup advisor. After financing $10+ billion in commercial real estate during her 25+ year banking career, she now supports founders full time through her company, Masthead Strategies. To date she has made nearly 30 investments, with a focus on underrepresented founders in CPG and tech. She serves on multiple boards including Outcast Brands, Fierce Foundry, and the Enthuse Foundation.
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